Seeing Like A Man

Recently, I got into a discussion with my Mom about self-image vs. how our husbands see us. I hope you have husband like we have. I really do. You see, my ex-husband wasn't like that them. Not only did he not discourage my view of myself, his view was worse.

My Dad calls his house from work, and asks to talk to "that hot woman." My Mom does what many women out there do...she rolls her eyes and tells him she hasn't seen one, but she'll be sure to keep an eye out. My husband, when I ask for an opinion on what I'm wearing, says I look beautiful, no matter what the outfit is. They sincerely see us as beautiful, no matter what. Big & pregnant, dealing with post-pregnancy belly-sag, sick with the flu...their opinion doesn't change.

How about yours? I know mine does. I have days where I manage to find the shirt that drapes perfectly to disguise the post-pregnancy belly, and I get my makeup just right, and the planets align just so, and I feel gorgeous. Then there's the other 364 days of the year, where I think I look just plain blah. But it occurs to me, in doubting our own beauty, we unintentionally insult at least 2 people.

Your husband is one. Just hear me out. Your husband loves you right? Chose to be with you for life? He thinks you're the most beautiful woman out there. When you think of yourself as ugly, or plain, or whatever your adjective of choice, you're subconsciously saying that you think he has bad taste. After all, he chose you, and you're not pretty..so he must just be crazy right?

The other, is our heavenly Father. He created you on purpose, for a purpose. He thinks of you as not only beautiful, but precious. By all means, workout, eat right, learn how to do your makeup right for your face, wear clothes that are appropriate for you & make you feel fabulous, but do not look in the mirror and despair. Remember how He feels about you, and make an effort to feel that way about yourself.

You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in  you. - Song of Solomon 4:7 (ESV)

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Pregnancy & the Male Brain

I noticed Redhead Riter is posting today concerning men's perspectives on late-life pregnancy. I love the meme idea, but seeing as we just had our 2nd child, I'm not sure my husband could picture our children being grown.

However, it reminded me of a conversation I had with Gunlover the other day. Let me start by saying, men have the strangest perspectives on things. Bunny is his first child. He considers Jewel to be his daughter also, but this is his first experience with the whole process. And apparently, he didn't have much curiosity concerning his Moms pregnancies, so there have been a lot of things for him to learn.

He had no clue how epidurals work...even after me receiving one (I was having terrible back labor), he still didn't know what the process entailed. So when I got up from the couch and commented on how the stitches hurt getting up and down, he joked that perhaps life would be easier if I just peed in a bag. I stuck my tongue out, and told him I'd had enough of that at the hospital. That caught him completely off guard, because he hadn't even noticed. Then he wanted to know why I'd been cathed. I gave him a funny look, and pointed out that it would be hard to get up to go to the bathroom, with my legs numb. He had no idea that the epidural numbed you from the waist down. He thought that it numbed where the baby came out, and that was it. Just as I think we're having a good educational conversation, he looks up with a flash of inspiration and says "oh! That's why you had gas so bad."

Yes, that's right ladies and gentlemen...the whole labor process, and his defining memory is that I had uncontrollable gas. His explanation being, that he thought it was "cute" that I kept apologizing for it. I will never understand men...he experienced the miracle of birth for the first time, and gas is still a defining feature of his memories. Lesson learned - potty humor never gets old for boys, no matter how old the boys may be.

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